The Catch-22 of Scottish football

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle."That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed. "It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed. From Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. 

On TalkSport’s breakfast programme, the morning after Celtic’s ignominious defeat by LASK in Austria, Alan Brazil, in the green corner, and Ally McCoist, in the blue corner, were debating the state of Scottish football, including the national team’s poor showing at the World Cup. Referencing Ian Wright’s previous comments about our game, the TalkSport hosts said that we need to invest more in youth. Where do they think this more money is going to come from? Clubs can't (or won't) even pay for goal-line technology or post-VAR decisions to be communicated by the referee to the crowd. They are not laden with spare dosh.

More pertinently, clubs do invest in youth, but the costs can easily outweigh the returns. Unless you get lucky and unearth a gem, you are probably going to be running your youth scheme at a loss. And when you do unearth a gem, they may be sold to a big English club before they have even played for your first team. Fees may be a couple of hundred grand or more, and cash-strapped clubs will take the money and run, but how much more could they have made if they had developed the lad into a first-team player.

The problem is clear: our Scottish youngsters rarely make it to the first-team on a regular basis. A report from the SFA in 2014 went into this in great detail. I understand that some of the recommendations in that report are being implemented, but not all and not, in my view, with sufficient urgency. The report made it clear that there were failings across the piece, but also concluded that as other leagues in Europe do give younger players more game time, “the size of the league was not an important factor in the opportunities given to young players around Europe… Therefore, this report must conclude that the size of the leagues is not one of the main factors influencing opportunities for young players.” 

Now part of me says that they would say that, wouldn’t they, but immediately following that paragraph, we can read this: “However, the consistent message we have received from those working at the coal face of Scottish football is that larger league sizes would afford more opportunity for younger players and also deliver a better product for fans, (my emphasis) who – according to our consultations with clubs - are ‘bored and tired’ with playing every team 4 times per season.”

Their Euro-embarrassment now behind them, Celtic will return to spanking the rest of the Premiership on a regular basis, and Rangers, if they get their act together, won’t be far behind in racking up big scores that keep their fans happy. Hearts too may well hand out some thrashings to the rest of the Premiership. LASK now a distant memory, the media will concentrate on our domestic game and talk it up as much as they can.  But, and it’s a massive but, we’ll conveniently forget that since the formation of the SPL (now SPFL) – and discounting Rangers years down the Divisions, there were only three occasions in those 20 seasons when a club has finished above Celtic or Rangers. That’s entertaining for the Old Firm fans, but is it entertainment for everyone else? 

No, it’s an almighty bore, as that 2014 SFA report noted. Watching your team play the Old Firm four times a year and knowing that you’ll almost certainly lose, and may be lucky to avoid being hammered at least once, is not fun. Going into a game against a fellow-bottom six candidate is equally stressful, with both sides taking the safety-first option every time and doing everything to avoid losing rather than going all out to take risks to try to win.

Everyone says we need to find a way for young talent to get enough game time to come through the ranks of their team and that radical action is required. But that's easier said than done.  Until we find a way to allow managers to play youngsters without fear that it will lead to relegation, this is never going to happen on a scale that will engender meaningful change.  League reconstruction and a bigger top Division is the obvious solution, but with the top clubs’ preference for a 10-team Premiership, and an 11-1 voting structure in place, that’s not going to happen either.  

In Scottish football, our Catch-22 is simple: we all know what needs done, but no-one wants to do it.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22."

Alastair Blair, Operations Director, the SFU